Who would NOT be a good fit:
Someone who is not willing to take personal responsibility. And expects others or a “professional” to fix them. They aren’t willing to doing the real work of looking deeply for what is under the surface, following through with homework and practices, and facing things that may be uncomfortable.
Instead, working with me requires you to show up and participate fully in the sessions. And to commit to doing the real work and digging deep. It requires taking personal responsibility for your life and circumstances. Even if you were the victim, it is about taking responsibility for your healing and moving into thriving. We are not talking about perfection here or not having any resistance to doing this work. I don’t expect you to be perfectly consistent with doing all your homework, all the time. And you will come up against resistance. It is about being willing to keep showing up.
This work is not for someone who is overly dependent or needy on others. It is not for someone who has crisis after crisis that gets in the way of them addressing what they really need to address. It is not for the person who is focused on the dramas of life or others outside of themselves. This is not for you if you are so caught up in your life that it is difficult for you to consider others or the impact you may be having.
Of course we all have difficult times and crisis points in our lives. And I support my clients through these in a way they can grow through them. And the people in our lives trigger us, that’s normal. What I expect of my clients is to take the challenge, difficulty, or what they feel the other person is doing to them and look at what this is pointing to inside them that needs to change, growth, or heal. So, even if my clients are currently going through a challenge, they have the willingness and space to process deeply the impact and what they need to learn from the challenge. My clients are also, pretty self-sufficient and independent. They are self motivated to do the work in between sessions and know when they need to reach out for guidance or support. They do not abuse the email or text message support provided. They are very considerate and respectful.
This is likely not for you if you do not have a connection spiritually. Or if you do not believe in a higher power or anything greater than yourself.
My work is spiritual work. I will not tell you what to believe in but I will encourage you to connect to your understanding of something greater than yourself. I have clients who do not believe in God. However, they are spiritual people. They view their connection with the Universe. Others might believe in Love or Goodness. Or simply their connection with nature, their higher self, the greater good. Whatever it looks like for you is personal to you, however, someone who has not interest in that connection is not a good fit for this work.
This is not for you if what you are needing is therapy. If you have a mental illness or disorder that impacts your functioning. This is not for you if you are currently self-harming, have a eating disorder, have problems with drugs or alcohol, or are suicidal. Someone who is struggling with these issues likely needs weekly therapy and this is not what these programs are designed to support. If you need help in finding resources for therapy, I would be happy to provide referrals for you.
The difference between therapy and coaching:
One of the difference between therapy and coaching is the level of education a person has to have to be a therapist versus a coach. Someone who offers therapy has to have a masters degree and be licensed by their state. It is helpful if a coach gets training but they are not required to do so. I am a licensed counselor, psychotherapist. So I have the training and education as a therapist backing me and I do rely on this in my work. I also have spent years in training on a transformational coaching process. I have training for both, I choose to have the framework of coaching to with in now.
Another difference is the intention of use. Therapy is designed from a medical model to treat mental illness. So if someone’s primary issue is struggling with mental illness or disorder and it is impacting their functioning, they would need therapy. If they are needing weekly support to manage, they would need therapy. Or if they are hurting themselves or having suicidal urges they would need therapy. People do go to therapy and don’t have a disorder that is debilitating. They may have similar issue to work on as they would in coaching. So at that point it would just be a choice. With coaching there is a future focus intention. Even though, with transformational coaching we may address the past there is an overall focus for how addressing the past is helping present and future.
The container is also different between the two. Usually, someone can come to therapy weekly and may go for years or stop after a few weeks. They may go for awhile, stop and then go back. Coaching provides more of a container for the work. And more of a commitment. You commit to doing the work for a certain period of time, is how it is usually structured. This supports us in staying consistent even when we might want to give up or come up against resistance.
Therapy tends to put the therapist in the expert position to fix a problem. It puts the therapist in the position to have the answers. And although, I may have expertise in area I have studied and this may be valuable to consider, I believe you have the answers within. Coaching views the relationship between coach and client as more collaborative. The responsibility and accountability is place on the client. And the client is not see as something that needs to be fixed.
Transformational Coaching:
Like other types of coaching, transformational coaching is designed to help you make changes in your life. It is about helping you create a life you want. However, the difference is that in addition to behavioral changes or focus on action, transformational coaching also goes deeper. With transformational coaching we are looking at the beliefs and mindset that is blocking you from what you are desiring.
Here are some of the modalities I integrate in my work with clients:
EMDR
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is used to help people reprocess through difficult memories, experience, and traumas. In addition EMDR can be used to help with performance, anxieties, stressors, or limiting beliefs. Our minds can get stuck in past experiences and have us repeating patterns of the past in our present. EMDR helps us get unstuck and adapt the experience in a healthy, integrated, manner.
Link to EMDR
Hakomi
Hakomi is a mindfulness-based somatic method. It uses mindfulness in a very specific and effective way. In a session, rather than talking about the experience, I may have you actually see what you are experiencing. Hakomi slows things down so we can listen to how our system is responding. This leads us to better understanding our core material or the limiting beliefs. Hakomi is a non-violent approach that assumes we are always doing things that meet a need or serve us in some way. And that we are always striving for wholeness. So we allow whatever is arising to be met with curiosity.
Link to Hakomi
Theta Healing
Theta Healing is a meditation technique where we identify beliefs that are blocking you from what you are wanting. This meditation brings us both into the Theta brain wave. We will dig to see what beliefs are underlying. And your job is just to be willing to release them and be open to receiving positive beliefs to replace the limiting ones.
Link to ThetaHealing
Journaling, creative expression, imagery, divination cards, and ritual:
I find these to beautiful and useful additions to a personal growth journey. Journaling is a effective tool for emotional processing and centering our minds. Creating collages or other art forms can be helpful in expressing an emotion or getting insight. Creative expression, imagery, and ritual utilize symbols which are the language of the unconscious. So we can use them to gain greater insight, communicate with the unconscious mind, and work at a deeper level. Divination cards, oracle cards, or inspirational cards all can help connect to the spiritual self. It is a way to gaining insight and guidance. Rituals can help connect with spiritual self, communicate with the sub-conscious mind, and set powerful intentions.
For those interested in my professional background:
I earned my undergrad in psychology from the University of Houston-Clear Lake in 2004.. I then received my masters in Human Services with a specialization in mental health counseling from Capella University in 2007. I worked at a sexual assault and domestic violence center. Then I went on to work at a psychiatric hospital. I started my private practice in 2009. I have done a great deal of post graduate training starting with hypnosis training. I got EMDR certified. I completed a two year training program in the transformational coaching work of the Hakomi Method. And I am certified in ThetaHealing. I have always be dedicated to my own personal growth. For the past 20 plus years I have had some container for me to do the work of looking deeply at myself and that can supports me in growing through all of life’s challenges. I am a licensed professional counselor in the state of Texas. And even though I am now offering coaching and mentoring, I will keep current with the requirements of my license.