So, I don’t know about you, but this year has not proven to be any easier than 2020. Week after week, I have been hit with emotional wave after emotional wave. There was challenge after challenge that each brought its own emotional tidal wave.
Going through this and helping my clients work through their own emotional tidal waves, I realized I have three steps I take when I want to work with the challenging emotions. Yes, work with them. Not against them. When we want to come out on the other side having learned something, then we need to learn how to work with the emotions rather than resist them.
Step 1: Acceptance
This is probably the most difficult step. And is a required first step when working with emotions rather than against them. Acceptance is not about surrendering to victimhood of the situation never changing. And it is not about taking out our emotions on others. In fact, acceptance does the opposite. It gives space to not do something we may regret out of our emotions. And it gives us space to see empowered solutions.
To accept, we need to internally say or think to ourselves that this emotion or situation is here right now. And it just is. Acceptance is about not making meaning out of our emotions or situations. Acceptance is about allowing what is showing up in our present moment to be there without judging it as bad, that is shouldn’t be there, or that we are wrong in some way for how we are feeling. It just is.
Step 2: Not in it Alone
Next, we must remind ourselves that we are not in this alone. I believe in a higher power and that there is so much spiritual support available to me in an instant if I just turn towards this support. Whatever this may look like for each of us…The Universe, Love, Goodness, Nature, Higher Self, Intuition, God. We must access that which is within us and greater than of us. We must remember that support is available.
In addition to spiritual support, we can reach out to loved ones, friends, or any other support avenue we may have in place. Or maybe sometimes it is our furry friends, going for a walk outside, or doing something creative that connects us to knowing that we are not in it alone.
There is also reminding ourselves that we are not suffering alone. That others human beings have felt this exact same feeling. Others have been through this experience we are going through now and have come out on the other side. This helps us connect to the humanness of our emotions and experiences.
Step 3: Processing
Step two can be used for step three. We just first have to remember that we are not alone so we can reach out for support. But we can call a friend and share how we are feeling. We can go for a walk with someone and talk through the events that are happening. This is not complaining or being a bother. Processing is an important part of working through our experiences and emotions. Yes, we are not meant to stay stuck in them or be the friend that always complains about everything. But there is nothing wrong with venting sometimes. I like to set the intention with my friends or husband up front that I just need to vent a little.
Processing is about working with those emotions by sorting them out. This is where the gold can come from if we are paying attention. We can get insights and understandings about ourselves. Journaling can be such an amazing tool for this. Like everyone I have ever suggested journaling to, I face resistance to this form of processing (even though I love it). It is normal because journaling will have us move out of the muck. And our egos would rather us stay there. We just have to be committed to taking that action. Sit down. And start writing.
